I am going to share something intensely personal with you.
Literally, it is what has been keeping me up at night. You are going to think I
am losing it, but really, I am just trying to find something out. On second
thought, I probably don’t need to know. It is probably best to just keep
wondering. My question is simply, why?
He was drunk when he sang it, but maybe that makes Kris Kristofferson's song more poignant, "Why me, Lord? What have I ever done, to deserve even one of your blessings on me?"
I have been, well, almost depressed for days. The reason for
my being down? I think am too blessed! I have been arguing with myself as to
whether I should dwell on the goodness of God or His greatness.
The god of Islam is proclaimed to be great, sometimes
followed by a bomb blast that kills people. Okay, if that’s the kind of deity
that “flips your switch” so be it. But my God, beside Whom there is no other, Jehovah God, is truly great. “How great is our
God!” “Great is thy faithfulness.” “How great thou art!” But He is also good,
yes, all the time, God is good.
I trust Him to know what is best, but I feel He is way too
good to this totally undeserving sinner. And that’s why they call it grace…undeserved
merit. But, the merit comes to me thicker than extra-crunchy peanut butter
stored in the refrigerator.
Why am I so blessed?
Why was I
born in America, the most blessed nation in the history of the earth?
Why do I get
to have the best wife in the world?
Why was I
exposed to the gospel of Jesus Christ when millions of others have never heard?
Why did I get
to be a man of letters?
Why do I get
to drive the baddest ride in the parking lot?
Why does my
mind hold trivia like a steel trap?
Why do I get
to be a pastor of God’s choicest saints?
Why do notable
people call me by name?
Why am I not
haunted by closet skeletons, inner demons and ghosts from the past?
Why do I
have three handsome, beautiful and smart children?
Why is our
family’s health so perfect?
Why is our
home so comfortable?
Why am I the youth camp director?
Why am I the youth camp director?
Why is my
backyard the biggest in the neighborhood?
Why is my
church the very best one in town, hands down?
Why do I get
to eat food fit for a king?
Why do we
get to give enormous chunks of money to God’s work?
Why is my
life a breeze while so many believers suffer so?
Why am I the
senior chaplain?
Why do I get
to take missions trips?
Why are my
friends the very best, loyal and so loving?
Why do I get
to have so many toys?
Why should I
get to have a bank balance?
Why should
10,000 people per weekend listen to anything I would have to say?
Why are my
prayers heard and answered in an amazing fashion?
Why would
anyone want to read this blog?
Why am I not
stupid, cancer-filled or mud-fence ugly?
Why did I
get to hold an important denominational office for six years?
Why do I get
to attend all the Husker games, free?
Why do I
have a nice lawn?
Why do I get
to offer prayers at important community events?
Why do I get
to drink gourmet coffee from El Salvador while I type in my PJ’s?
Why do I get
to hunt and fish and have super neat hobbies?
Why do I
live in the bread basket of the most agriculturally productive nation in world
history?
Why is my
air clean, water pure, food nutritious and in such abundance?
Why do we
get to go on vacation?
Why do I get
to hold God’s Word in my hands?
Why do I get
the exalted privilege of preaching and teaching it?
God is good, I am good for nothing. God is great, I am
grateful. When asked how I am, I have to reply, much better than I deserve.
So really, why? I don’t know. Honestly, I feel guilty, I
feel blessed, I feel favored by heaven, I feel super responsible.
I know that God owes me nothing, but for some reason
continues to open the windows of heaven and pour out His blessings so that I
don’t have room to receive them.
Lord, there is no
turkey or pumpkin pie in my near future, but accept my deep felt thanksgiving
from a humbled heart. Please share some of my blessings with those around me
who do without. Most of all, since I have freely received, let me freely give.
Amen!
The windows of heaven are open
The blessings are falling tonight
There’s joy, joy, joy in my heart
Since Jesus made everything right
I gave Him my old tattered garments
He gave me a robe of pure white
I’m feasting on manna from heaven
And that’s why I’m happy tonight!
2 comments:
God inhabits the praise of His people - thanksgiving becomes thanksiving.
Perhaps some of our blessings are given so that we might exalt Him through our thanksgiving.
If we then being evil know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more does your Father in heaven want to give good things to them that love Him.
Praise the Lord!
I've thought along the same line. Very often actually. Then I tell myself, even if I lose all of my blessings, I still want to praise God just the same.
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