Thursday, June 6, 2013

Why?



I am going to share something intensely personal with you. Literally, it is what has been keeping me up at night. You are going to think I am losing it, but really, I am just trying to find something out. On second thought, I probably don’t need to know. It is probably best to just keep wondering. My question is simply, why? 

He was drunk when he sang it, but maybe that makes Kris Kristofferson's song more poignant, "Why me, Lord? What have I ever done, to deserve even one of your blessings on me?"

I have been, well, almost depressed for days. The reason for my being down? I think am too blessed! I have been arguing with myself as to whether I should dwell on the goodness of God or His greatness.

The god of Islam is proclaimed to be great, sometimes followed by a bomb blast that kills people. Okay, if that’s the kind of deity that “flips your switch” so be it. But my God, beside Whom there is no other,  Jehovah God, is truly great. “How great is our God!” “Great is thy faithfulness.” “How great thou art!” But He is also good, yes, all the time, God is good.

I trust Him to know what is best, but I feel He is way too good to this totally undeserving sinner. And that’s why they call it grace…undeserved merit. But, the merit comes to me thicker than extra-crunchy peanut butter stored in the refrigerator.

Why am I so blessed?

Why was I born in America, the most blessed nation in the history of the earth?
Why do I get to have the best wife in the world?
Why was I exposed to the gospel of Jesus Christ when millions of others have never heard?
Why did I get to be a man of letters?
Why do I get to drive the baddest ride in the parking lot?
Why does my mind hold trivia like a steel trap?
Why do I get to be a pastor of God’s choicest saints?
Why do notable people call me by name?
Why am I not haunted by closet skeletons, inner demons and ghosts from the past?
Why do I have three handsome, beautiful and smart children?
Why is our family’s health so perfect?
Why is our home so comfortable?
Why am I the youth camp director?
Why is my backyard the biggest in the neighborhood?
Why is my church the very best one in town, hands down?
Why do I get to eat food fit for a king?
Why do we get to give enormous chunks of money to God’s work?
Why is my life a breeze while so many believers suffer so?
Why am I the senior chaplain?
Why do I get to take missions trips?
Why are my friends the very best, loyal and so loving?
Why do I get to have so many toys?
Why should I get to have a bank balance?
Why should 10,000 people per weekend listen to anything I would have to say?
Why are my prayers heard and answered in an amazing fashion?
Why would anyone want to read this blog?
Why am I not stupid, cancer-filled or mud-fence ugly?
Why did I get to hold an important denominational office for six years?
Why do I get to attend all the Husker games, free?
Why do I have a nice lawn?
Why do I get to offer prayers at important community events?
Why do I get to drink gourmet coffee from El Salvador while I type in my PJ’s?
Why do I get to hunt and fish and have super neat hobbies?
Why do I live in the bread basket of the most agriculturally productive nation in world history?
Why is my air clean, water pure, food nutritious and in such abundance?
Why do we get to go on vacation?
Why do I get to hold God’s Word in my hands?
Why do I get the exalted privilege of preaching and teaching it?

God is good, I am good for nothing. God is great, I am grateful. When asked how I am, I have to reply, much better than I deserve.

So really, why? I don’t know. Honestly, I feel guilty, I feel blessed, I feel favored by heaven, I feel super responsible.

I know that God owes me nothing, but for some reason continues to open the windows of heaven and pour out His blessings so that I don’t have room to receive them.

Lord, there is no turkey or pumpkin pie in my near future, but accept my deep felt thanksgiving from a humbled heart. Please share some of my blessings with those around me who do without. Most of all, since I have freely received, let me freely give. Amen!

The windows of heaven are open
The blessings are falling tonight
There’s joy, joy, joy in my heart
Since Jesus made everything right
I gave Him my old tattered garments
He gave me a robe of pure white
I’m feasting on manna from heaven
And that’s why I’m happy tonight!

2 comments:

Mark Kiser said...

God inhabits the praise of His people - thanksgiving becomes thanksiving.

Perhaps some of our blessings are given so that we might exalt Him through our thanksgiving.

If we then being evil know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more does your Father in heaven want to give good things to them that love Him.

Praise the Lord!

Elizabeth Zlomke said...

I've thought along the same line. Very often actually. Then I tell myself, even if I lose all of my blessings, I still want to praise God just the same.