Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Have you seen my man card?


Could someone help me? I’ve lost something awhile back and can’t seem to recover it.

I may have misplaced it while I set it down to wash the dishes. Or it may have slipped behind some furniture while I was vacuuming. It could have been dropped in the laundry room when I was throwing a load in.

I’m talking about my man card, have you seen it? I’d like mine back!

I’ve seen a couple of them on the floor of department store changing rooms where guys have discarded them while trying on skinny jeans.

I saw one discarded into the folds of a salon chair where a dude had his hair fashioned into a man bun for the first time.

None of those were mine, I’d look ridiculous in skinny pants. And, though I am nearing the weight of a Sumo wrestler, I’d never be able to rock a top knot.

But the day in Bass Pro I was pulled away from coveting a model 94 30/30 to go look at bicycle shorts and Birkenstocks, my card began to fade.

When I looked at our credit card statement and saw the purchase of two tickets to Hamilton on Broadway, I had to go to my wallet to see if my man card was in its special compartment.

As I looked in the grocery bag to see which flavor of Doritos made it home from the grocery, and found only kale and quinoa, I knew my card was in danger of revocation.

Toxic masculinity, head of the home and king of the castle, have given way to gender fluidity, getting in touch with one’s feminine side while accessing the right side of the brain. Harleys have been scooted out of the way by Tao Taos, and muscle cars by Subaru and Priuses.

The danger of touting the Donald is that I just might get hit upside the head by a man bag wielded by a supporter of one of the B’s (Bernie, Biden, (Eliza)Beth, Beto, Bloomberg, Buttigeig, Booker or de Blasio.)

Furthermore, I’ve found It’s best to bite my tongue rather than reference the name Melania. But the mention of Michelle will prompt abundant praise.

Alas, to have my card back. They are no longer being minted; you know?

We don’t know which bathrooms to use at Target. Muscled and mustachioed wonders are winning gold at the girl’s track events. And suits with shorts???

Well, I’m being told I need a pedicure, so I’d better don my bike shorts and pedal down to the salon for my pampering. Perhaps I should get a facial while I’m at it, if I can get an advance on my allowance from my wife, er, ah, significant other.  


The Virus is Changing (almost) Everything


9/11 changed the world! Security, surveillance and scrutiny are now omnipresent facts of life in our post 9/11 world. Freedom and terror have locked horns for an almost two decades battle. Things will never be the same after the fall of the Twin Towers.

And here we are again at yet another world changing juncture. Coronavirus will go down in history for its implications. We are facing new norms as much will likely change, things like:
     *How we wash our hands
     *Self-Quarantining
     *Handshaking
     *Social distancing
     *The stock markets
     *Privacy
     *Job security
     *Freedom to peaceably assemble
     *Freedom of religion 
       Etc. 
(Please do not misunderstand the addition of these last two items. It is just an observation, not a commentary.)

We are mostly uncomfortable with change. All of our comfort zones have been greatly disturbed. Nerves are frazzled, schedules are interrupted, lives are on hold, much we count as dear is in jeopardy. 

Let's share some positive perspective to dispel the gloom perpetrated by our 24/7 news outlets.

Here are a few important things that have not, and will not change:

*The Immutability of God: He's the same yesterday, today and forever. "I am God, I change not."

*The Character and Attributes of God: He remains holy, sovereign, righteous, all powerful, all knowing, everywhere, transcendent. Most importantly, God is Love!

*The Offer of God does not Change: Though holy and righteous, He still extends grace, mercy and forgiveness through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus for us on the cross, thereby affording us peace, love, pardon, hope and purpose.

*The Promises of God to His Own are Unchanging:
     °Every need supplied,
     °All things working together for good,
     °He will never leave nor forsake us,
     °A home in heaven for the redeemed,
     °Eternal rewards for the faithful,
     °The availability of the Holy Spirit,
     °Power to witness,
     °The perpetuity of His church,  
     °Abounding, sufficient, wonderful, marvelous and timely grace.
     °The indwelling of the Holy Spirit

Someone said, the only thing that never changes is change. We go through seasons of change as individuals, families, communities, our nation and our world. But it is wonderful to know that we have a Rock, an Anchor to Whom we can always return to “touch base.”

PS – A word of caution, there is one other thing that does not change: The Vitriolic Hatred of the Enemy Remains Constant.
Revelation 12:12 says that the devil is come down to you in great wrath, know he hath but a short time.

I leave you with Peter’s admonition, Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.  I Peter 5:7-10

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Have you seen my man card?


Could someone help me? I’ve lost something awhile back and can’t seem to recover it.

I may have misplaced it while I set it down to wash the dishes. Or it may have slipped behind some furniture while I was vacuuming. It could have been dropped in the laundry room when I was throwing a load in.


I’m talking about my man card, have you seen it? I’d like mine back!

I’ve seen a couple of them on the floor of department store changing rooms where guys have discarded them while trying on skinny jeans.

I saw one discarded into the folds of a salon chair where a dude had his hair fashioned into a man bun for the first time.

None of those were mine, I’d look ridiculous in skinny pants. And, though I am nearing the weight of a Sumo wrestler, I’d never be able to rock a top knot.

But the day in Bass Pro I was pulled away from coveting a model 94 30/30 to go look at bicycle shorts and Birkenstocks, my card began to fade.

When I looked at our credit card statement and saw the purchase of two tickets to Hamilton on Broadway, I had to go to my wallet to see if my man card was in its special compartment.

As I looked in the grocery bag to see which flavor of Doritos made it home from the grocery, and found only kale and quinoa, I knew my card was in danger of revocation.

Toxic masculinity, head of the home and king of the castle, have given way to gender fluidity, getting in touch with one’s feminine side while accessing the right side of the brain. Harleys have been scooted out of the way by Tao Taos, and muscle cars by Subaru and Priuses.

I fear touting any accomplishment of the Donald lest I get hit upside the head by a man bag wielded by a supporter of one of the B’s (Bernie, Biden, (Eliza)Beth, Beto, Bloomberg, Buttigeig, Booker or de Blasio.)

Furthermore, I’ve found It’s best to bite my tongue rather than reference the name Melania. But the mention of Michelle will prompt abundant praise.

Alas, to have my card back. They are no longer being minted; you know?

We don’t know which bathrooms to use at Target. Muscled and mustachioed wonders are winning gold at the girl’s track events. And suits with shorts???

Well, I’m being told I need a pedicure, so I’d better don my bike shorts and pedal down to the salon for my pampering. Perhaps I should get a facial while I’m at it, if I can get an advance on my allowance from my wife, er, ah, significant other.