Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Last Book of Presidents
1 And it came to pass that as Ronald Reagan finished his presidency that he was gathered together unto his fathers, George the Elder began to reign in Washington, and did that which was evil in the sight of the Lord, according to all the sins of the presidents that were before him.
2 For he removed not the liberals that were on the Supreme Court, neither ceased he to cause the children to pass through the fire unto the god evil-abortion. Moreover, his chamberlain spelled "potatoes" at a school in the manner of the king's English and was laughed to scorn by the liberal media. Never-the-less, he continues to garner a pension to this day.
3 And George reigned four years in Washington and the people wanted no more of him and he went the way of all the kings of the earth and Bill reigned in his stead, with Jezebel by his side.
4 Eight years did Bill reign in Washington and he did that which was exceedingly evil in the sight of the Lord. For Vince the left handed was found dead in a park with a gun in his right hand. And he sinned greatly, not like the sins of his father Jimmy Dolittle of Georgia, but much worse.
5 For he caused the sodomites to not ask or tell in the service of the army of the king.
6 And he had one wife and many concubines.
7 But the people greatly favoured the king, for he never inhaled, and gave him a second term, and he even considered usurping the law of the land to run for a third term. But the Constitution prevailed. Yet his VP won an Oscar and a Grammy and the Nobel, which was very inconvenient for it was a great lie that deceived even the very elect, Though Rush was right.
8 And he was plagued by terrorists on every side and saith to them all, "we will not rest until we have tracked you down and brought you to justice."
9 But alas, not one terrorist was slain, nor taken captive, but were allowed to move about freely, planning a reign of terror for 9/11.
10 Mercifully, the Lord removed King Bill of Arkansas in the first month, the 17th day of the year 2001.
11 In that same year began George the second of Connecticut, er, Texas, to reign in Washington by the will of the people, because Ross decided not to take the spoiler role for the third time. And though George was a Skull, he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord.
12 For he called upon the name of the Lord with the help of the Prophet Graham. This he did because of his many transgressions of youth. And when future kings went out to war, he opted to serve stateside, having been exempted by the pleadings of George the First of Connecticut.
13 Early in his reign, was he greatly oppressed by the media and other terrorists. The left wing called him stupid and the right wing thought him greatly evil.
14 Yet George did that which he considered right in his own eyes, and in the eyes of Dick Cheney, a mighty man of Haliburton.
15 In the midst of his early reign, George II sent troops to the nations of the east to chase the evil Bin Laden from cave to cave.
16 But alas, he was more subtle than any other terrorist and avoided capture and worshiped greatly the moon god allah and made his children to pass through the Ivy League. Moreover, did Bin Laden come to power by aid of the CIA and then rebelled against them.
17 Moreover, did George also send troops to Babylon as his father did, yet he went all the way to Baghdad and ceased not to pursue until he had captured the great king Nebuchadnezzar the 4th, in a pit on a cloudy day when the battle raged mightily in the provinces. And he was hanged before witnesses, yet one witness brought his cell phone to capture the event. And many greatly rejoiced. Yet the servants of the moon god were sore distressed and removed the head of the scribe Daniel and many other heads and posted the events on You-Tube.
18 Never-the-less, George II could not locate the stores of WMDs which were moved to neighboring countries to make his administration look as if they had played the fool.
19 In the end, the reign of George the Younger ceased in Washington and the media rejoiced.
20 And it came to pass, in the last days of the great nation of the people of God, began Obama to reign in Washington. For he put down the challenge of John, a mighty man of valor and Sarah, who would later write and speak and do Fox news and make a fortune and cause many to be angry and others to rejoice. And Barack, whose middle name was the same as America’s enemy, did that which was exceedingly evil in the sight of the Lord and in the sight of gun lovers and in the sight of all Evangelicals.
21 For he worshiped the gods of the middle east and the gods of the Kenyans and the gods of the Indonesians and the gods of Jeremiah Wright, who cursed America in Jehovah's name. Also, he worshiped himself and lifted up his own name above all that is called God.
22 And he also made the children to pass through planned parenthood and paid them for it.
23 And he blasphemed the Constitution on every hand. And he encouraged sloth. And he caused universal healthcare to become the law of the land, making Jezebel to be ashamed.
24 Though he greatly appeased her by granting her a cabinet position and telling her to leave the country not a few times.
25 And the sodomites and the communists did he make his counselors and the false prophet whom they called Rahm, that is highly exalted god with us, did he appoint as chief of staff, who caused all the world to wonder after the beast.
26 And many wondered after the beast, whither he was born and which color he was as he turned this way and that. And his wife did make a mockery of the American way as she disdained its heritage.
27 Moreover in the midst of his first reign did multitudes of the people begin to second guess their decision to make him to reign over them, for he threatened to take, not only from the wealthy, pulling down $250K in each year, but also from the mean man, causing them to serve with rigor to pay for the lifestyles of the shiftless and the illegals.
28 And thus ended the nation as it had ever been known, for the Lord was very wroth with the nation because they turned from serving Him with their whole heart to serving gods made with their own hands; cars, gardens, houses and such.
29 Moreover, political correctness, apathy, tolerance, acceptance, the internet, leisure, hedonism, sodomy, abortion, socialism, porn, and recreation caused them to turn from the one true God and they would soon be attacked by the armies of the moon god allah and brought very low.
30 Then the universal government ruled by the prince of the power of the air, whom anointed the Kenyan to reign over the nation and bring her to her knees.
31 He that hath an ear to hear let him hear and let him that understandeth say, Amen!
32 Woe unto you, inhabitors of that great nation America for your destruction is come upon you in a single term. And then shall Rachel Madcow, Keith Homoman, Spill Maher, Chrissy Matthews, Nojoy Bahar, Rosacia O'Donnell, Nancy Pillowsea, Harry Red and all of Hellywood be cast alive into the gulf of oil spill, which shall be ignited and shall burn for many days.
33 Behold as the sea turns to blood in the gulf. Say not, there are yet great days to come, for greatness cannot come again unto you unless you repent and turn to your first love and choose ye rulers who love the Lord thy God.