Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Must I Empty-Handed Go?

There I stood, empty handed in this 3 room cave haunted by those who lived outside of the law. When everyman’s hand was against them, it was a place such as this they would retreat. It was said that Jesse James himself used this cave. It is now fronted by a Subway Sandwiches and an adult novelty store, its entrance barricaded against the curious lest they hurt themselves and the city be found liable.
I will never forget the embarrassment and humiliation of meeting with my cub scout group at Robber’s Cave in SW Lincoln, only to find out, it was a birthday party to which I was invited, but somebody neglected to tell me the occasion.
As the horror of my ignorance throttled this bashful introvert of 11 years, I skulked to the shadows of one of the empty rooms to shamefully witness the happy birthday party of the den leader’s son. Alas, I brought nothing to the party to honor the birthday boy. Of such are the memories and regrets of life.
That gets me to surmising: What if I get to the Judgment seat of Christ and find out:
1.       It truly is a judgment and not just for rewards?
2.       That all I have been doing, giving, sacrificing was all just for me and not for Him?
3.       That I wasted my life, and really my eternity, by spending it on the wrong things?
4.       That I was too fearful of man and not nearly fearful enough of God?
5.       That I hardly ever won anybody to the Lord, even all those that I led to pray a prayer?
6.       That I really never brought anybody along to maturity in Christ. I left babes lying nurtureless in their cribs?
7.       That I did most of my life’s work in my own power, rather than the Spirit’s power?
8.       That my pride on earth has cost me dearly in heaven?
9.       That I followed the teachings and traditions of my colleagues, mentors and peers rather than the Bible?
10.   That I have very little to show for all that He did for me?
11.   That I could and should have spent much more time on my relationship with Him, especially in matters of prayer?
12.   That I will have very little in the way of rewards to give back to Him?
13.   That I should have anticipated all these things because I was warned about knowing the terror of the Lord and so, persuading men?
I cast myself on the mercy of my Abba Father Who loves me more than I can imagine, Who is forgiving and patient and nurturing and has counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry. May His strength be mine today as I deal with others on His behalf.  I must rest in Him, draw strength from His vine, and produce fruit as His life-blood flows through me. I want to see Him, but, must I empty-handed go?

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