Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Things we do to show visitors how lame our church is:

*Show up late. I mean, the game, the job, dinner, that’s different. Those are important events.
*Sit in the services with a “critical” posture – slouch, arms folded, no Bible, scowl on your face, eyes everywhere but on the preacher or singers. 
*Avoid taking notes! That would show them this stuff is worth meditating on. 
*Don’t sing, or at least sing with no enthusiasm. It is enough to just mouth the words while scoping out the crowd to see who is and isn’t there, and what they are wearing.
*Sit as far away from the action as possible as if we are distancing ourselves from the message and the messenger.
*Never smile, your frown says, “I’m not buying it.”
*Don’t go to the altar. Act as if that is for crazy and emotional people whose lives are messed up, not for normal, well-adjusted people like you.
*Never “Amen!” “Hallelujah!” or “Praise God!” You may give the impression that a relationship with God and worshiping Him is real and vital.
*Don’t show up to services, show the visitors how much the church means to you, or doesn’t.
*Sleep during the service. This will show the seeker that the late movie or surfing the net is a higher priority than some boring church service.
*Don’t go out of your way to welcome the visitor and offer assistance or directions. Let them sink or swim on their own.
*Don’t respond! Don’t laugh at the jokes, weep at the sad stories, rejoice over souls saved or personally make public decisions. Show them that all that emotionalism is totally unnecessary to critically thinking people.
*Never bring a friend or loved one to church. Sure, you got roped in, but do you really want those you know to be a part of this church too?
*Don’t plug in! Teach newbies that sitting around on the periphery is sufficient.

Really folks, what are we telling those who are visiting our services? Know this, they ARE checking out the facilities, the programs, the music, the message, the messenger AND YOUR BODY LANGUAGE.

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