Anti-Christmas

Rev 11:7  And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them. 8  And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified. 9  And they of the people and kindreds and tongues and nations shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves. 10  And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.

Ah, 'tis the season for making mirth and merriment. The message of the true Christmas is "Peace on earth, good will toward man." But the message of the Anti-Christmas is "Death to God's prophets!"

Gifts will be sent via Amazon, Fed-Ex and UPS in that day all around the globe. Great galas, posh parties and big bashes will be thrown. Toasts will be made, crystal glasses will be clinked together and alcohol will flow like Niagara Falls in the spring.

Folks from everywhere will gather around their TVs and computers to watch CNN, MSNBC, HLN and a skeleton crew at FOX to check in on the latest news from Jerusalem. Wolfe Blitzen, Anderson Gayper and Gerald Riviera will be on site, reporting the latest developments concerning the grinches who tried to steal their Anti-Christmas. Suddenly Rachel Madcow's jaw will drop to the floor as the two trouble makers in the background begin to stir and suddenly stand to their feet. A quick breath from them and the crime scene tape melts away. The reporters flee for shelter as if another Grad rocket was coming in from Gaza.

What is going on? How could this be happening? Anti-Chris Matthews had chills run up and down his legs when the King of the World personally saw to it that these trouble makers would never cause another moment's grief, but eyes pop and jaws drop all around the globe as they see their holiday come to an abrupt end. For three and a half days, these gutsy guys have been rotting in the street on camera in front of billions of witnesses. Now, they are up and preaching Jesus again! Suddenly, thunder rolls and, in front of 3 billion pairs of eyes, they are assumed into the heavens.

Party's over folks. Lights out. Misery ensues. Anti-Christmas is over. Bah Humbug!

Back to you in the studio, Rachel.